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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28414932">And found wanting</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cincave/pseuds/cincave'>cincave</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Meet Me Outside</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 17:56:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>460</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28414932</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cincave/pseuds/cincave</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You were measured.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>And found wanting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p>
<p>You are reduced to this.</p>
<p>The great James Chu, Star Influencer of the Year, now begging for scraps for attention, of affection. You’ve always prided yourself on how independent and strong you are.</p>
<p>But when it comes down to it, on the eve of the one time in the year where no one should be alone, Rapunzel, all alone in her tower, realizes that she wants someone to run their fingers through her hair.</p>
<p>So, you ask him to stay. This lonely admission paid for with scraps of your pride and self-esteem.</p>
<p>And he does. He does stay. Lovely, warm Dale who thinks so little of himself still finds it in himself to give you more.</p>
<p>You ask and you end up in his arms. He holds you differently than Paul ever did. Looking back on it, you now realize that Paul always held you like he could let you go at any given second.</p>
<p>Dale holds you like he never wants to let you go.</p>
<p>Did Paul ever love you? You gave him everything. And yet, when the time came, you were measured and still found wanting. Were you ever worthy of being loved?</p>
<p>The doubts, the fears, they creep in as the clock inches ever closer to midnight.</p>
<p>Could you ever actually be loved? You, who is so exacting with what you want. With a laundry list of pet peeves and specific tastes. You who everyone finds off-putting. How could anyone ever put up with you?</p>
<p>Here, on the bed, in the arms of purchased comfort, you let all the ugly fears and dark insecurities that you have been fending off with your pride creep in. After all, in any battle, pride has always been the first and last defense.</p>
<p>Maybe, Paul was the last one who was ever going to try. Everyone else after him is going to see the unscalable mountain and decide that, for all of its beauty, it still is not worth it. Everyone else after him is going to look at you and-</p>
<p>Oh.</p>
<p>Dale holds you tighter.</p>
<p>You didn’t think it was possible. But he does. It hollows you out.</p>
<p>That, here, in your darkest moments, someone has held you and meant it.</p>
<p>You clutch his arm around you like the adrift survivor clinging to a lifeline at sea. He brings warmth and temporary reprieve.</p>
<p>In the morning, this will be gone. The high-tide will come and this temporary island will sink.</p>
<p>You turn over and face him, wanting more of his warmth. He will be gone and you will have to face the ocean by yourself again.</p>
<p>But, at least, for now, on Christmas Eve, he has you in his arms and, no matter how temporary, by these arms, you belong.</p>
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